until we meet

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

the pleasures been all mine to house you for the past 9 months or so. but now, i'm ready for you to vacate. for the past 9 months, we've had plenty of time to bond. i've gained around 40 lbs. i've succumbed to your cravings. tomato basil from jason's would have never been my food of choice. i haven't ate it since, and i don't know if this coming winter, i will be partaking again. i've missed out on fall, spring and summer clothes shopping. i've lived in pretty much 6-7 dresses that i can easily slip on. sandals are my friends. nights, i've laid sleepless, turning side to side to get comfortable. nausea. fatigue. you've worn me down and out. so many nights of getting up to pee, stumbling around in the dark, my eyes barely open. mornings not getting being able to put my own shoes on. and when you first became real big, i didn't really know how to put lotion on either. learning how to work around you. that i can't just get up like i used to. that the quarter i dropped isn't all that much. that i can't get up so fast. that my balance isn't all there. i no longer can tell when i'm too full, since i feel full all the time. weird things that's happened to my body, not including stretch marks.

oh but these past 9 months, i've thought about you so much. i wonder whether you'll look like your dad or you'll look like me. or maybe the best of each of us, haha. i wonder if you'll be a big napper like me, and sleep soundly like me. or a light sleeper like your dad, awoken by the man snoring in the apartment over. i wonder if you'll be outgoing and crazy like your dad, or quiet and reserved and awesome like me ;)

i can't wait to take you for walks. i can't wait to lay beside you and watch you sleep. i wonder if you'll dream and make little funny noises. or do babies dream? i wonder if you'll like the beach, and the sand in your toes. i can't wait for your little fingers to wrap them on mine. i can't wait to wake up and come see if you are awake. i can't wait for you to give me the little baby stank-eyes that babies' faces make. i can't wait to watch you experience saturdays, weekends, ice cream, happiness, christmas, halloween.

oh honey bunny, one more week until we meet. and you better not make me wait.

-kaolee

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